646f9e108c "Beer for My Horses" tells the story of two best friends that work together as deputies in a small town. The two defy the Sheriff and head off on an outrageous road trip to save the protagonist's girlfriend from drug lord kidnappers. Bill Racklin is a deputy sheriff in Greer County Oklahoma, the crystal meth capital of the region. His girlfriend leaves him because he's inattentive to her, but things look up when his high-school sweetheart, Annie Streets, returns home to care for her ailing mother. Annie's step-father, Buck Baker, is the local heartless rich guy, buying up farmland. On a stakeout, Rack and two other deputies arrest four men stealing fertilizer to make crystal meth; one of the four is the brother of a notorious Mexican drug dealer. The drug lord arranges Annie's kidnapping and holds her to ransom his brother. Rack and the deputies, prisoner in tow, head for Mexico to rescue her. …'Beer for My Horses' (and/or a Nugent, Willie or David Allan Coe fan), then do yourself a favor and don't watch this movie and spoil all of what you've had going on.<br/><br/>It's that bad. Actually, it's much worse than that bad. The writing, directing and acting were all equally terrible. Most of the parts that were supposed to be funny were met with groans instead of laughs. Seriously. The 'best' parts of the movie (and it ought to be a crime to refer to them like that. How about closest to actually being funny parts…?) involved a pit bull farting and an up close look at him licking his male parts. No, I'm not kidding.<br/><br/>We went in a packed car and all agreed afterward that it was the worst movie we ever saw. No exceptions. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck deserved Oscars for Gigli compared to 'Beer for My Horses.' I like Beer for My Horses. The writing is very formula-driven. Rodney Carrington plays like he is Barney Fife in Mayberry; there are other Andy Griffith Show touches. Toby Keith smiles a lot; he doesn't convey much acting, but his droll demeanor provides a nice straight guy to the sight gags and Country star cameos.<br/><br/>The setting is a small town, the topics are small town, and you find more likable people strolling through the story than you could imagine.<br/><br/>But the story is nice. Warm, even. I didn't watch a story, so much as watch Rodney Carrington and Toby Keith making a story. Kind of like an extended comedy routine, rather than a movie comedy. But the experience is enjoyable.<br/><br/>And I *want* to learn about Snake's sling.
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